I Am - Am I?

It matters to me who I am, and what I am and why
I am a million little things inside this shell called I

I’m driven by emotion and quite often fall apart
To know the depth of who I am I need to have a start

Am I a history of all that came before I did appear?
Did something wave a magic wand and solid formed from air?

Am I composed of atoms, maybe neutrons, maybe more?
And what’s that vibrant energy that permeates my core?

The thoughts I think are there because I put them there or what?
And when there’s something not quite right did something lose the plot?

It’s crazy but I feel there’s more to me that I should know
I’m sure before conception I existed in some flow

Some flow composed of what? I mean I must have been somewhere
The fact that I exist right now is neither here nor there

I’ve read the minds of experts and it’s driving me to tears
I really need some answers fast, I’m running out of years

And even when I’m dead and gone what lies beyond that door?
I wasn’t here and then I was and then I am no more!

I’m searching for two lines to finish off this little note
Can’t think of any so I guess I’ll post it as it’s wrote